The holidays are among us! I always look forward to the veil of comfy red that underscores America in early December. There is a bit of a change in pace (everything speeds up), and I always talk to my family more. All of these things are total positives, and these alone are enough to make the "season" worth having.
However! The greedy hands of American marketing have certainly rubbed their sweaty palms all over the original intentions of the spirit.
I could rant about thousands of increases in advertising to sell any given product, but I am writing today to rant about Jewelry commercials. They suck. Not only are they the most frequent commercials to invade my TV watching experiences, they are also the worst.
1. They act like the only real way to love your wife is to buy them diamonds. They make women out to be greedy little gnomes that are bitter and insatiable until the moment a diamond is in the room. "Love" is rediscovered as soon as she finds out he spent money on overpriced diamonds for her.
2. The kisses. I can't stand to see people kissing passionately on TV. They kiss so romantically and slow, I can almost hear the strangers and their lips clinging for way too long. I must admit that this qualm of mine was discovered during movies where you can actually hear the mess going on between the actors. It's just so fake to me.
3. The slogans and lines:
- "Every kiss begins with Kay." - Really? Do you realize what you're saying? Every kiss? Every kiss in the world? Would you really even want that to be the truth? Imagine that. The only time anyone kisses is when they receive something from Kay Jewelers. Sooo pompous and overstated.
- "He went to Jared!?!?!?" - The next is the one where a boyfriend is coming up to a house and the completely red sweatered family sees him with a Jared box. They all start relaying to each other "He went to Jared!" "He went to Jared?" "Yep, he went to Jared." The daughter comes down as the whole extended (as if grandma hangs there daily) family is "Hiding" on the stairs to watch their little girl become initiated into the world of material dependency.
- "A Diamond is Forever" - Nope. Not at all. I've seen girls lose them. They don't care THAT much. They just go get it replaced. DeBeers? More like DaQueers. (no offense) <
...And also, I hate John Mellencamp. So sue me.
-Anthony
PS - and apparently, this has something to do with diamonds. hmmm...
- Brett
