And that's How the Word 'Brunch' came to be...

Once upon a time a man named Alex Schoenbaum sat down at a "very awkward time of the day for lunch". He had slept in till ten after a night of trouble-making and cruisin' and this lead to a tug of war between his belly and his natural eating cycle. He didn't know if he wanted the scrambles and honey dew, or burgers and taters, but the fact of the matter was that his belly was screaming for something "goooood".

"Whoa," he said in front of a bunch of his friends, "I'm really confused right now. I can't tell if I want breakfast or lunch." Well since all of his friends partook in the previous night's debauchery they were all on the same plane as far as their belly's confusion with their minds. They thought really hard for a while and ripped open a bag of little suckers. (Not the tiny Dum-Dums, but the god thick quarter-shaped kind) Two hours and a family sized bag of suckers later, Old Schoenbaum came to an obvious, but brilliant conclusion. "I don't give a shit what we call it, it's all grease and it's all gonna be shit by Monday night football time. Let's just call it brunch and get the fuck on with our lives."

Well. Get the fuck on with his life, he did. Essentially, he erected a buffet that that divided the Buffet soldiers from the Girly-girl Weah-weah babies. It stretched from its origin, Charleston West Virginia all the way to the outer edges of the Midwest. You could think of it as a metaphorical sister project to the Great Wall of China. Okay, well just say it was a pretty damn big buffet, and it was an overnight hotspot for after-church minglings.

One of his friends had the next brilliant idea. "Hey Schoeny, this is such a popular place to be, you should name it."

In classic Schoeny fashion, he replied, "That's it. We'll just call it Shoney's and get the fuck on with the blueprints for a legendary buffet."

320 current locations and millions of full bellies later, he leans back with a glass of Sangria in his navy blue hot tub and says ".......Brunch". (arrogant chuckle) "......Stupid motherfuckers".



Well, as former Sunday frequenter of this legendary buffet, I have one thing to say to Alex Schoenbaum and his army of bussers.

Thanks for all the pancakes and suckers. I love you.

-anthony