What percentage of people out there have had a threesome (over the age of twenty-one)? And what happens afterwards? Do you kiss both people in the morning? Is it okay to start up again in the morning in the same bed as the other "sleeping" partner?
i think a three-way shower would be the shit. i also think a three-way haircut would be awesome. Would a three-way break up be a third worse than a regular break up?
(Me breaking up with my two girlfriends)
Anthony: Hey Cindy, could you tell Amanda that I don't love her anymore and I think we should never talk again, then listen to what she has to say right after that because she has some important information about the fact that I no longer want to ever talk to you again and I've fallen out of love.
Cindy: Wait, explain that again.
Anthony: Okay (sigh) once upon a time I used to love two girls named Cindy and Amanda at the same time. They funded me when I was broke, they gave me rides to work and brought home gifts on Sundays to make my Stormy Mondays better.
Cindy: And by They, you mean us?
Anthony: See! This is exactly it! Not everything is so black and white! Sometimes you have to except that things live in the gray!
Cindy: You're late for work. And I know I said I would, but I'm not taking you today because you are being a jerk!
Anthony: Right! Right! Just bail out again! Bail on everything that has ever meant anything to you in this world! You know what Cindy! You spread yourself to thin. That's your problem!
Cindy: What do you mean by that? I don't even think you know what expression really means.
Anthony: See?! You want everything wrapped up in your perfect little package so that it doesn't stress your little brain. Well I'm through wrapping gifts! Christmas came late, and I'm scared Cindy! God I'm Scared and hungry...cold, tired, I'm so exhausted from the stress of this concrete jungle...
Cindy: Bye bye, dude. You suck. And who's Amanda?
Anthony: See?!
(she slams the door in my face and regrets ever having met me)
It's all real.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Dreamy Dreams
I had a dream last night that I roundhouse kicked a cigarette out of my friend Kevin Barret's mouth. We were at a bar and he was wasted and starting trouble with some troublemakers who outnumbered us big time. Then when I kicked his lit cigarette, everyone was distracted and it diffused the whole conflict.
Not very noteworthy, i know, BUT then I had this other dream which seemed to be hours later with my family in a run-down mansion where we were eating in a "nonbroken" home, I referred back to that other dream and told the roundhouse story. My happy unified family just laughed and laughed.
I wonder if that means my mom and dad are going to get back together after 24 years of divorce and barely speaking to each other? Also my dad started smoking again after 10 years or so. So that's another weird thing.
"These dreams protect me from the cold outside,
Every moment of the night,
I live another life."
Who sang that song? Anyone? I'm seriously asking, I don't remember.
Not very noteworthy, i know, BUT then I had this other dream which seemed to be hours later with my family in a run-down mansion where we were eating in a "nonbroken" home, I referred back to that other dream and told the roundhouse story. My happy unified family just laughed and laughed.
I wonder if that means my mom and dad are going to get back together after 24 years of divorce and barely speaking to each other? Also my dad started smoking again after 10 years or so. So that's another weird thing.
"These dreams protect me from the cold outside,
Every moment of the night,
I live another life."
Who sang that song? Anyone? I'm seriously asking, I don't remember.
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