Terrible Restaurant Crews

Chicago Ale House is officially the worst of the worst restaurant crews that I have ever encountered. Now, I am an ex-bartender. I did it for four years, and I have accrued a definite amount of sympathy for when things go wrong. It just happens and I am never one to act like it is enough to ruin my day when there is a mishap, or three (Because I also realize that mistakes come in bundles once the server is shaken).

BUT, this was ridiculous: Mark and I eat a meal and watch a few games. The place has four patrons and our chicken sandwiches took twenty-five minutes to make. The best part of this shortcoming was that the kitchen is entirely visible from where we were sitting. The cooks just joked around and laughed and jammed out to Modest Mouse knowing we were staring at them.

After the meal We wanted to have an Irish Coffee, so the overly concerned (but lazy) Bartendress makes a couple of Irish coffees for us. She hands them over, I take one sip and the coffee is just cold. COLD.

Me- Um, I'm sorry to be like this, but this coffee is cold.

Barkeep- Oh no, actually I'll bet it's just the Bailey's. Because it's a dairy product, we have to keep it in the fridge. I'm sure it's what made the coffee cold.

Me- Right, but it is really cold. Like not even warm, as if the coffee has been sitting out all night.

Barkeep- Ya know, sometimes I like my Irish coffee to be cold, kinda like a Iced coffee. Like from Starbucks, it can be tasty. But I'll top you off here to warm it up.

(She pours a more into it, and it is still cold)

Me- It's still cold.

Barkeep- There has got to be something wrong here, because I know that coffee was just brewed. It doesn't make sense.

Me- Right, but I just wouldn't mind a hot Irish Coffee right now.

Barkeep- Well I can check the pot, but I'm sure it's just the Bailey's, because we JUST brewed that.

(she goes to the beverage prep area, which is ten feet away and we can hear everything going on. She comes back after talking to the other server about the coffee being cold and the other girl swears the coffee was freshly brewed)

Barkeep- You know what? That pot just was actually cold. I'm sorry, I can brew another pot if you really want it to be warmer.

Me- Yes. I would LOVE for my coffee to be warmer.

BArkeep- Okay, but.....(trails off as she begrudgingly goes to brew another pot)

(It is now when the owner comes in to the picture. He is a nice and friendly Asian guy. He goes over to the other server who explains what is going on. The Bartendress comes back out with another pot of coffee and pours more into our cups. The owner yells over our shoulders at her.)

Owner- (at her) MAKE THEM A NEW DRINK! DOn't just pour more coffee in their cups, (to us) Hi, my name is TOmmy, and I'd like to thank you guys for coming in today. You like the basketball huh? We have many TV's for watch Basketball madness....

Barkeep- (at Tommy) There is no point in making new drinks, because the coffee machine has to be broken. TOmmy, let me handle this. (TO us) Sorry, but the coffee machine is broken guys, do you want to drink these like they are or can I get you something else?

(TOmmy, goes to the coffee machine and yells for her to come back there and talk to him. Mark and I look at each other in frustration and hold tight for the end of a couple of games)

(They argue in the back, we can hear everything, and it turns out that the coffee machine was never turned on. She returns after getting reamed for the stupid move)

Barkeep- Turns out the coffee machine is broken.

(Tommy comes up behind us)

TOmmy- She's new and she is afraid to admit she never turned it on. Thanks for coming, these are good basketball games huh?

Me- (to Barkeep) Right, could you just throw the coffees into the microwave and heat them up for a minute or so?

Barkeep- I don't know if that'll work.

Tommy- No! I fixed the problem with the coffee! There will be a new pot ready in a few minutes we will make you new cups.

MArk- (First words) Jesus Christ, I don't care about the details.

I lose it. I went from zero to tears in one split second and don't stop laughing for ten minutes. It may not seem that funny, but it was perfectly delivered and timed. Simply perfect. She comes back to thank us for letting her know that the coffee was cold so she didn't serve cold coffee all day, then continues to explain what happened with the machine in such a way that is "not her fault". Mark leaves me with this gem.

MArk- We have to make the decision now to never come back here again, or to be instant regulars and drink our lives to waste in this nonsense.

I'll give them another chance. I have a feeling that barkeep isn't going to last long.

-Anthony